ANSWERS

Sometimes in life we come across people who have no idea how to deal with the trials and tribulations that are thrown their way. So in turn they clam up, get frustrated, and turn their anger to the people who care about them the most.

Being a former victim of this, I learned that I had to either communicate with the person who was having a hard time dealing, and make them aware that, yes, I understand your frustration, "HOW CAN I HELP?", if possible. Usually they've become so frustrated they have no idea where to even start in answering your question. So...what do you do then...step back, and let them be superman/woman. If the problem involves you, do your part, and ONLY your part!!! Give them space to figure things out. Don't hover, or nag. When the time is right or when they choose they will share their feelings and or resolutions with you.

Looking back on past relationships and even family problems I realized people deal with their problems differently and naggin them or rushing the results makes it harder for them to actually deal.


I tend to be a person who likes details, If I'm involved in something or with someone, I wanna know the details of everything, so that I can prepare myself if changes need to be made. Some people are willing to give the details of your involvement in their lives, and others arent! If they are not willing to give you the details or how they plan to involve you in their life,re-evaluate the situation. However, they themselves may not have figured out yet exactly how you fit in, where they want to go with you or if you even belong.

So with all that said if you find yourself frustrated because of someone else's frustration, just give them room to breathe until they have it figured it out and talk calmly!

Whoo what a WEEK, that was, I know it's my hormones trippin for sure now, soon as I get off my shit, that shit just disappear with the quickness, LMAO!!! I need to see a doctor about that, i was really trippin...smdh, I need some white people happy medicine, lmao!

I BELEIVE LOVE IS...

I believe Love is the strongest emotion because it controls every single thing we do in life. It's effect on our other emotions can be extremely good or bad. Without Love there is no hate! Could it be that the world is trying to concentrate on the other facts of life to eliminate the most powerful force on earth? LOVE.

Sincere by Foreign Exchange

I just thought I would share this video, it kinda describes exactly how I'm feeling at the moment

HOUSE OF CARDS by The Foreign Exchange

The Extra Puzzle Piece

Have you ever felt like you just don't belong? Like no matter where you go, who you're with,you just don't fit in anywhere.

Lately I've been really down, I'm currently unemployed, and desperately looking for a job that I'll be happy with. The last job I had it got to the point where I would go to work and got literally sick to my stomach when i reached in front of the building. I purposely didn't go to work one day, and when I went back the next day, i picked up my check and cleaned off my desk and bounced! It felt like a heavy elephant rolling of my back as I strolled down the hall and out the building. To think about it i think I skipped out the building, lol. But anyway, I'm having a really tough time! I live with my much older sister who is a workaholic and in my opinion a control freak. I love her dearly but the "bitch" needs to hit a joint every once in awhile, she'd be a better person to be around.

I moved to Maryland once I finished school in North Carolina, I was living with my daughter's father at the time, and things where really rocky between us. My sister offered me a good paying job at her school and I accepted it and moved here about 3 years ago. It was exciting at first, then reality set in. I love my sister but sometimes I want to tell her about herself, but I keep my mouth closed, this is her house, and my grandmother taught me better. Well the school I was working in when I first moved here my employment there lasted 6 months, I wasn't used to teaching, had my degree is something totally not in education and one day I blanked out and had to quit.

I started working with a small insurance agency helping the owner and her daughter out, I liked it at first, after about two months I got my license, and without any formal training from day one began to teach myself the rules and procedures of this very small unorganized (in my opinion) agency. I was never a salesperson and was really not hired to "sell" anything, but with acquiring my license it became a part of my job description. I HATED begging people for their money,it's either they want the damn insurance or they don't! I am not the type of person to beg anyone for money, i'd rather go without it! So after a year I walked out. I've been looking for other employment ever since, that was six months ago. I have no real source of income, i live in this house with my sister who pays all the bills, and help me out if need be, and not to mention I have a four year old child who is in school. OMG, the past 5 moths have been HELL! Looking for a job, going to an interview not to be called back, it's so frustrating!

My sister's boyfriend has his own IT business which I was helping with for awhile, he can't or won't pay me the way I need to be paid. I have my degree, I am in graduate school, an hourly wage is not going to do anything for me but keep me in this house longer than I want to be! I wouldn't mind working for him at all, but I have a child, I need medical, dental, and life insurance benefits, which he has yet to offer, so, that ain't gon' work!

Well the point of this post is to say I feel like I don't fit in anywhere, i was in NC, I wasn't feeling that, i'm in MD, it's ok, but I want to get the heck away from this crazy lady who loves and it seems to live to control people's lives! Where do I belong? Am I supposed to stay here, move back to New York? I have no idea where and what I'm supposed to be doing?

I have this amazing talent and passion to do graphic design, but nobody is willing to sit down with me and help me. I need some type of training, especially with technique, the software i can play with and navigate on my own. I'm a very visual learner, a book ain't gon do it for me. That's why i was always so bored in school and hated going to class, IT WAS DREADFULLY BORING!!! I need some HELP!!! Anyway, this is what i love to do, here are some samples of my work:

 

My logo for LoudMouf Inkz

 

Business card I did for my sister

 

2 page magazine spread (never used)

 

1 page advertisement (never used)

poster for Khaliya's school

Ready for Love?

  When love finds you, will you be ready???

Will you be ready for the honesty, the truthfulness that you so long for?
Will you accept all the good and happiness it has in store for you?
Will you be able to accept that it's real, and it's all for you?
Will you nurture it, and show that you appreciate it's existence?
Will you love Love, and realize you've been training all your life for this task?
Will you show love that you are willing and able to love it back as hard as it's loving you?
Will love be able to tell that what it's doing for you is being appreciated, and will love want to love you more?
Do we love Love, or the person that is giving the love?
If you've found love, can everyone else tell, because if not, and no one recognizes it as LOVE, is it really love you're sharing with that person?
What will you do if you do find Love, shout it to the rooftops, keep it to yourself?
Love, I'm here, I'm waiting, I'm willing and worthy of all you have in store for me?
Will the one I long to love, Love me?
Speak now or forever hold your peace!

A HEART MADE OF GLASS

I hate when men tell you they love you and they act like they hate you! What's the point of getting into a relationship if you're not willing to go all the way. Being with someone, spending time with them is very serious especially to females. We live by different rules, different views on life. I guess that's where the trouble lies.

I can give my heart to a person with no thought of them wanting to break it.

I'm hurting so bad right now, I'm lost, I'm sad, I've been neglected, misused, forgotten, ignored, and have had my heart stepped on one too many times! About a year or so ago I was at my wits end with my daughter's dad. I felt disrespected by his friends who didn't even know me, and who were so immature they didnt care to know me, or even take into consideration my feelings, and neither did he! I still love him! I feel like I don't even have a choice in the matter because i look at this beautiful child of ours and start to remember those days we were so consumed with each other even in just being there in each others presence. It hurts!

So to cure my hurt, I start talking to this dude I knew in H.S. Shit went good, he talked to me, made me feel IMPORTANT. He came to visit me from NY, when i was up there I would go see him, we really hit it off. It was a temporary fix to my problem. The love I had for my daughter's dad is still there, not even one ounce of it is gone. WHY? Why do I have to suffer as he goes on with his life! He has a girlfriend now, and also many many other female friends. Why do i continue to love this man who doesn't even see me, doesn't even notice that I'm loving him? I told the other guy I needed time to deal with my feelings, and he has some past issues he needs to deal with too. So lately I've been pretty much to myself. If he calls I tell him I'm not in the mood to talk.

My daughter's father came to visit for the weekend...it was her birthday! It was strange, like nothing changed but our conversation. The feeling was still there, or was it just me? We had general conversation. I wanted to talk to him so bad about "us" but everything else seemed to be telling me not to, like the fact that he's accumulated all these girls in his life, and he's in a relationship with someone else.

Today I find out he's considering moving to another state. That doesn't help my situation at all! I'm in panic mode! I text him to confirm it, he said he's thinking about it. "Is ------ going to move with you" I ask, he says "I don't thinkso..". What does that mean, either she is or she isn't! I just don't know what to do anymore. I had a brief text conversation with his sister, and I started thinking about all we went through, all the bad feelings started to surface again, I started to remeber why I left him, why we broke up. I don't want to go throught any of that again. However i'm still stuck with these feelings and I can't stop crying! i don't know if I'mbeing punished for some past trangresion but this shit sucks! I just need time to myself, i don't need to have anyone inmy life until i can deal with these feelings. How am I to deal with them if I dont know if his heart is still with me?

The Soloist

I watched The Soloist last night because I couldn't sleep, as a matter of fact I haven't been to sleep yet.

The Soloist is about a journalist who stumbles upon a homeless man who has the incredible talent of playing the cello and other string and wind instruments.

I watched this movie and while listening to the notes of the score, couldn't help but to cry. I thought about everything the composer must have been feeling while composing the pieces and what he wanted the listener to feel while listening. It made me appreciate classical music. I started downloading some pieces, including the whole soundtrack to the movie. If you haven't seen The Soloist, I recommend you do, it will inspire to listen and feel, and feel while you're listening. I have a new appreciation for classical music now, and I think I'll be listening and feeling alot more of it.

almost NEVER counts!!!

I wanna scream sometimes, I wanna hit, smack, kick, yell and scream!